Change My Life
by smallz
Summary: CH 2 UP Logan gives up on the relationship and leaves Max. She seeks comfort from Alec of course. Please R
1. Odd Little Girl

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own Dark Angel or it's characters, it all belongs to James Cameron, blah blah blah.  
  
Time frame: Sometime in s2...after HL.  
  
Rating: This probably won't get to be rated R. The highest it'll get is probably PG-13. Although this chapter could be considered G!!   
  
A/N & Summary: the reason i'm writing this is because i just broke up with my bf of 2 years, and this is my way of taking my mind of that. so max is sorta doing the same thing, and starting all over again by leaving logan. this is gonna turn out to be a m/a thing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The two main objects in the room were an odd girl and her telephone. How long had it been since Logan had called her? A day or two? No, not this time. Despite her desperate attempts of trying to get him to call her back, Logan hadn't made any effort to contact Max in over a week. Sure she could always stroll down to Foggle Towers, break into his apartment, and force a conversation out of him. That was always an option. But what was the point when it was obvious that Logan had given up? And sure he could sit there obediently particpating in the fake conversation, talking about the weather. But what was the point if he had given up?   
  
Logan's little speech that he recited to Max as they sat in the back of convertible was just his way of telling her that he didn't think they could be together. As if that wasn't enough, Max knew that Logan thought it was her fault. He had somehow managed to pin every obstacle, every hurdle in their relationship upon Max. As hard as she tried, she couldn't deny the facts any longer. Logan wanted to be with her, but he had evidently given up the effort involved in keeping their relationship alive.  
  
Now the rain outside had slowed to a soft drizzle, and the darkness threatened the fading sun with it's presence. The fragile form that was Max slipped on her jacket and gloves, and left the apartment for a night with her bike.   
  
On such a calm night, the streets were surprisingly empty. Taking this to her advantage, Max sped up so she could feel the wind whip her hair up in whisps, and the cool air sting her cheeks. Riding her ninja had always been her way to escape the pressures of work, relationships, and even Manticore. But this time it did little help. In the end her thoughts still drifted back to Logan. Finally she thought, _Why am I torturing myself like this?_. She made a U-turn, and began making her way over to Foggle Towers.   
  
She didn't hesitate to pick the lock and walk inside the apartment. The colours of her surroundings consumed her, and she felt the old comfort she had been longing for.  
  
"Logan," Max called softly.   
  
"Over here."   
  
She walked into the living room to see Logan sitting on the couch with a glass of wind in hand.  
  
"Hey," Logan said. Making no attempt to make eye contact.  
  
"Hey yourself," Max said while smiling weakly. "Haven't heard from you in awhile."  
  
"Yeah, well I've really busy. Eyes Only stuff."  
  
"Need any help?" Max asked, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of the man she loved.  
  
"No."  
  
They stayed like that for a few seconds, in silence. Max standing in the doorframe clad in her black leather. Her eyes looked like those of a child. And Logan sitting on the expensive couch, holding his glass of red substitue in his hand. The substitue for what he wanted, which was Max. He made no attempt to make her feel welcome like he usually did, and he still had hardly looked at her. With a pained expression on her face, Max turned around to leave.  
  
"Max! Have a seat, I need to talk to you."  
  
She reversed her direction of travel, and had a seat across from Logan. The chair seemed strangely uncomfortable, almost as if the furniture itself didn't welcome her presence.   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Max, I think you know what I'm going to say." He trailed off for a few seconds. "We always get through these sort of things. But I just don't think that's gonna happen this time." He paused inbetween sentences to have a sip of wine.   
  
"So you're just giving up?" Max finally spoke the words that had been on her mind the whole ride over. "Max, we've been living in a relationship that's gone nowhere from the start. I love you Max, but if anything I'm just holding you back. You're still young, there's all sorts of doors open and offering opportunities for you. I'd be doing nothing but holding you back."  
  
Although Max forced herself not to see it, Logan had an almost depressed look in his eyes. He had spent hours on trying to find the kindest words possible to end the relationship between the two of them, but to Max's ears his sentences were nothing but harsh lies. A single tear ran down her face, although she wasn't even aware of it. Without another word, she rushed out of the apartment. Outside she jumped on her bike and sped through the streets even faster than before.   
  
The whole time her thoughts were racing. Some suggested anger, others sadness. But overall, the basic question she wanted answered was, _Why?_ She couldn't even concentrate on the road. She got the bike and sat beside the road with her head between her legs. Heart wrenching sobs shook her entire body, and the sadness consumed her. She stayed like this for over 10 minutes, wondering, _Why?_. Finally she looked up to take in her surroundings. She was only a few buildings away from Alec's place.  
  
Like an odd, lost little child she wandered up to his doorstep, shaky from all the crying she had done. She knocked so weakly on the door that not even Alec's genetically enhanced heard it. She knocked again, now just wanting to get inside and away from the darkness and the cold that the night always brought. Finally the door swung open, and Alec stood on the inside of the building staring at Max with disbelief.  
  
  
  
TBC. Please people, review, review, review! I can't stress this enough, it's what makes we want to continue writing. So the more reviews the faster I'll post another chapter. I know this chapter was kinda weird, but it's all uphill from here, so just hang on. 


	2. Searching

A/N: I never expected to get reviews so quickly! thanx guys.   
  
  
  
  
  
_Dirty enough I got me a love  
and it's so bad, it's so bad  
Life's for the living  
so check me tomorrow  
We'll see if I'm kidding  
Push and push and push  
'til it hurts_  
Matthew Good Band - Hello Time Bomb  
  
  
  
Max's face was still tear staind, and her eyes were still red. Her hair was tousled and messy from the exhilirating ride on her ninja she had taken, in an attempt to forget about the painful event that took place at Logan's apartment. She was cold that the shivers shook her body.   
  
Confusion was evident in Alec's eyes. So many thoughts raced through his head that he couldn't focus on just one. _Why is she here? What's wrong? What happened?_   
  
"Max?" he asked, hoping to get some kind of answer.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." Alec stepped aside in Max walked in. The whole time she just looked down at the floor, but brought her head up to take in the surroundings of Alec's apartment. The green walls were worn and scarred with age, much like the furniture. She was comforted just to be inside a building and out from the cold, but it was a new kind of comfort. Logan's apartment had always been sort of "proper", for lack of a better word. But Alec's apartment seemed like the kind of place where one could be more relaxed. No hiding, just be yourself.  
  
"What's wrong Max?" Alec asked. Concern was apparent in his voice, which startled Max. He hadn't even made one rude remark since she had knocked on his door.  
  
The odd girl stood in the center of the room, her whole body wet and cold, soaked hair framing her face. She wasn't quite all there. Her mind temporarily drifted away on her, and she was brought back by Alec's voice, but she didn't answer right away. Alec still stood by the closed door, starring at Max with confusion spread thickly through his eyes. He was dressed only in black boxers. Contrary to what most people would think, his lack of clothes was making him uncomfortable.   
  
Finally she spoke, "Alec, do you mind if I stay here tonight?" Her voice was shaky.  
  
"Sure. I'll get you a change of clothes." He walked into his room and Max followed behind him. He threw her an identical pair of black boxers, and a blue T-shirt.   
  
Alec left the room giving her privacy to change. He stood just outside the door, still wondering why she was here. No doubt it had something to do with Logan. Alec was so lost in thought that he didn't even hear the door open behind him, and Max step out of the bedroom. She lightly wrapped her hand around his upper arm. Frightened and startled by the unexpected movement, Alec turned around to face Max. Although her eyes were longer red, she still looked sad.   
  
Inside, Max's sadness had shrunk down in size, but the anger had risen. She just needed to get Logan out of her mind. Out of her thoughts. Just to forget about him. She brought her other hand up and lightly traced Alec's barcode with her finger.   
  
Not knowing how to react, Alec said, "You should get some sleep. You can have the bed."  
  
"No. It's your house. I'll take the bed." Max replied.  
  
In all honesty it was no trouble for Alec to take the couch, but he didn't want to push Max. Not in the state that she was in.   
  
***  
  
There's two kinds of people, break-up-wise. Afterwards, you either want to be alone, or lonliness is the last thing you could want. If Max could have anything at the moment, it would be a little company. She looked up at a clock on the wall, it read 1: 42. She had been lying awake for the past half hour. Instead of feeling the sadness or anger that had followed after her trip to Logan's, she now felt complete and utter loneliness. Just a room away another being slept soundly. Alec.  
  
_How do I feel about Alec?_ Most of their interactions consisted of arguing and put-downs. But tonight Alec had been different. Even if they didn't both realize it, the two were at least close friends. Max stood up, shaky and unsure of her own balance.   
  
Alec wasn't asleep or awake at the moment. He lie in bed with his eyes shut, thinking of Max. He snapped out of his daze when he felt another person's body weight lay down on the bed, infront of him. She slipped under the covers, looking at Alec to see if he was awake. She adjusted herself so that her back was pressed softly against his stomach. Alec put his arm around her, and buried his face into her hair. She smelled exactly like flowers.   
  
Their bodies were warm against each other, and no one spoke a word. There was a quiet understanding between the two of them. They each knew what the other needed. Max needed comfort, as did Alec. They were searching for it. They didn't move, except maybe a bit closer to each other. The two both fell into sleep quickly, feeling safe in each other's presence.  
  
  
  
Please review people! If you want another chapter, I need the encouragement. thanx tons.   
I don't know how much I like this chapter. It seems kind of weird. :S 


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